I’ve been to some crappy tourist traps in my life.  I’ve stayed at South of the Border in South Carolina (and was born within 30 miles of it – thank God I wasn’t born in Pedro’s giant hat or something like that).  I’ve heard about the world’s largest Prairie Dog in Kansas (which will henceforth be referred to as God’s First Day on the Job) – don’t stop for it, it’s plastic.  I’ve even been to Notre Dame.  But, thanks to Yahoo!, I now know that when I go to Gaza for my next vacation (because, you know, who doesn’t want to go to Gaza and crash at the local Hamas hostel?), I will avoid the Gaza Zoo.  I say this for two reasons:  1) I assume that there is only one zoo in Gaza and that the rest of the land is reserved for hand grenade practice; 2) the Gaza Zoo is a sham. I give Nidal (pronounced Ny – dahl) Barghouthi (pronounced Barg-how-thee… probably… maybe Bar-goo-thee… maybe Smar-ja for all I know) credit for attempting to educate young Gazerians (I picture them worshiping the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man) about wildlife.  I applaud it, actually.  However, next time, an informative power point, a Polaroid, or maybe a stuffed Zebra would be more appropriate than applying masking tape to two white donkeys and painting them with black stripes.  Seriously.  I can’t make this stuff up.  I’m not just trying to make fun of Gazanians because I don’t know what to call them, either!

Now, I’ve only seen a zebra in a zoo myself, but based on the six pictures I just looked up, I noticed a few differences:  1) the black stripes and white stripes are different sizes and not uniformly aligned; 2) the black stripes aren’t faded; 3)  they’re not donkeys.  This guy had to put some serious effort into this… short of the inhumanity of applying paint to a donkey (which begs the question… latex?  oil-based?  hair-dye?  If so, Clairol?), how in the hell did he get the donkeys to sit still long enough to PAINT them without taking a hoof to the face.  All I know is if I were one of those donkeys,  this Jackass (no, the irony of this title is not lost on me) would learn a new meaning of donkey punch.