“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7″

I knew at a very young age that I was going to follow the path of being a “lover and not a fighter”.  Perhaps it was because I was and am so close to my mom, but I’ve never had a problem of expressing my emotions, feelings, and fears.   I will admit for the past 10 years or so I’ve done what I can to at least mask these three somewhat faux pas things for “men”, but try as I may, they are a part of who I am.  It’s the way God made me, and I won’t run from it.  With that in mind, grab a blanket, a hot chocolate, give yourself 15 minutes because I give you part one of A Story That Has No End…

I grew up in Lafayette, Indiana, right behind Jefferson Square, and the fairgrounds.  I never had to move away from my house when I was a kid. In fact, my parents live there to this day.  When I go home to visit, which I frequently do, I still sleep in the same room that my brother and I shared for a summer.  My two children sleep in the room that I grew up in, learned about who I am, and paved the way for the present day thing I call my life.  Most of the same pictures still hang on the walls, my dad is still smoking cigars, and my mom still loves to sit on the couch and read her books.   I loved to play basketball in my driveway, there were millions of games of “21″ with my dad, friends, and thousands of three pointers from the top of the key.  My neighbor Angie can attest to the fact that I spent hours out there.  I listened to Metallica, Guns N’ Roses, and show tunes…great combo right?  There was usually one constant in my life, and that was companionship, mostly of the female variety.  Whether it was girlfriends or “girl” friends, there was always someone to turn to when things got confusing for me.  I enjoyed being in a relationship, it gave me comfort, it gave me someone to love and a purpose, and something I felt I could do well.   Someone very wise recently told me “you’re a relationship guy”, and although she is right, I’m sure I argued my point at the time.  I dated many “randoms” along the way, and was always looking for “the one”.    Little did I know, my future was 1.3 miles away learning the same life lessons in a house that her mom and step-dad still live in to this day.  More on that later…

I went to Purdue, met a girl, had a daughter, got married, graduated from Purdue, moved to Indianapolis, had a son, moved to Northwest Indiana, worked in Chicago, moved to Valparaiso, and got a divorce.  Long story short huh?  The life lessons learned in that little span of writing are far more than I could ever list on a blog.  Let’s just say I thought I was doing what God wanted me to do.  When we found out we were having Avery, all questions ended, all accepting started.  I won’t harp too much on the past, but I will say that my purpose in that relationship was to make two amazing, beautiful children who are going to do something wonderful in this world.   In the fall of 2007, I found myself alone and scared, but hopeful and determined….

In 1984, Cynthia M. Carter and her Mom moved to Lafayette, Indiana from a small southern Indiana town.  After moving around Lafayette a couple of times, they found a “home” near Miami Elementary School, a mere 1.3 miles from my parents house.  As you can see on the map, a short walking distance seperated us for the majority of our childhood.  Cindy attended Miami Elementary, and eventually funneled into Tecumseh Middle School, where she met kids from surrounding Elementary Schoools…including a young boy named Kevin Hicks.

NOW, let’s get some things straight first.  Cindy and Kevin didn’t really “hang out”, “date”, or even talk for the most part.  Since they’ve both drank copious amounts of alcohol since then, there isn’t much recollection of events that may have occurred in a “together” setting.  To their knowledge, there were no slow dances at the mixers, no notes passed during study hall, and very surely no delusions of intertwining heartstrings.  They were just kids.  Kids trying to find a way through the most challenging and important years of their lives.  They lived 1.3 miles away from each other, but their hearts couldn’t be farther apart.

As it turns out, Kevin and Cindy shared a few mutual friends, and as middle school turned into high school, Kevin got more involved in Choir and made a name for himself that way.  He had a girlfriend most of the way through high school, and didn’t pay much attention to other girls…well, you know what I mean.   His life was mostly consumed by girlfriends, choir, and trying to stay out of trouble.     He got average grades, lived an average life, and for the most part just tried to stay out of everyone’s way.  Kevin didn’t have alot of enemies, didn’t make a ton of friends, and felt like he knew everyone enough to call them by name, and remain friendly with everyone whom he met.  Kevin wasn’t shy, he wasn’t outgoing, he wasn’t a party-animal, preppy, geek, goth, or dork.  He was just a middle of the road kid.

Cindy Carter was a fantastic student who had her eyes set on growing up and starting her career.  There weren’t many boyfriend’s, but many friends.  As stated before, Kevin and Cindy shared many mutual friends, but somehow without crossing each others path in any obvious ways.  Most of Kevin’s friends were in Choir, and many of those friends were also Cindy’s friends outside of Choir.   Cindy also didn’t have a million friends or a million enemies, but simply was a great student and friendly to everyone.   Cindy wasn’t shy, she wasn’t outgoing, she wasn’t a party-animal, preppy, geek, goth, or dork.  She was just a middle of the road kid.

After High School, Cindy went to Purdue University, yes, the same school that Kevin Hicks went to, during the same time period.  And again, there is no recollections of parties attended together, beers drank in each others company, or late night visits to Triple X.  For all intents and purposes Cindy and Kevin were worlds apart on the same campus.   Cindy graduated, and moved on in her career in marketing.  Over the course of the next 10 years, Cindy lived in various cities across the midwest, but mostly residing in both Louisville, Kentucky and Indianapolis, IN.  She started her own marketing firm from the ground up, and served her clients with passion and conviction.   In the spring of 2004, Cindy found out she was going to be the Mother of a beautiful baby boy.  In February of 2005, Xavier Owen Carter was brought into the world.  Cindy began a new life as a single Mom, perhaps one of the toughest jobs on this earth.  During her time as a single Mom, Cindy interviewed many possible men for the opportunity to win her heart and prove to be a good male role model for her son, but this interview process proved to be difficult, but Cindy endured.

In the winter of 2008 Cindy signed up for an account on this new craze called facebook.  Many of her current friends were on there, and as she started to explore, she found many old friends from High School.  As it turns out, this boy Kevin Hicks was on facebook, and the two were then “friended”.  (Facebook terminology for acknowledging that they know each other)  Kevin looked at Cindy’s pictures and Cindy looked at Kevin’s pictures…they looked nothing like the pictures you will see above.  They looked different, better, more mature, more grown up.   Kevin said “wow, she looks great”, and Cindy said “wow, he looks great”.  However, it didn’t go any further than that.  In fact, Kevin, in true Kevin fashion, had a girlfriend at the time.  Kevin merely watched from a distance to see how Cindy and others were doing in the facebook community.

The one thing that Kevin and Cindy shared from 1994 to 2009 was a coming of age.  A certain air of confidence, social prowess, and unwavering fortitude bonded them without them ever knowing it.  Two socially middle of the road kids turned into outwardly social, confident, and life of the party chameleons.  With this air of confidence, Kevin decided he probably ought to let Cindy know that she does in fact look incredible and he was happy that she is doing so well.  Through this wonderful medium called Facebook, he reached out to Cindy in the early winter of 2009 and said simply “hey, you look great, and I just wanted to say so”…simple enough right? Cindy responded in kind, but didn’t think too much of the message.

Over the next several weeks there wasn’t much said, as the winter rolled into spring, Cindy and Kevin shared a few facebook messages about health issues shared between family members, but nothing too crazy.   In late March, Cindy was making a trip to Chicago for business, she reached out to Kevin to let him know she would be in town.  They agreed to try and grab a coffee or something, but Kevin came down with strep throat and figured it would be better to wait.  This didn’t make Cindy very happy as she was looking forward to catching up with this boy from high school.   They continued to share a few messages here and there through text.   Kevin found himself single in early April, and went to Cindy for advice.  Cindy had been a pro on the dating scene and could offer some insight into “playing the field”.  Cindy advised Kevin on a few “deals”, and told him to just have fun.  Text messages turned into 5 minute phone calls, 5 minute phone calls turned into 90 minute phone calls, phone calls turned into back and forth emails, back and forth emails turned into “when can I see you?”  Quickly.

At this point, you may be asking yourself “why does Kevin keep referring to himself in the third person, what an arrogant bastard!”  Although you’re partially correct, I can’t seem to tell this “story” any other way.   You see folks, this is a love story, an extraordinary love story.  It does no good if I tell you my side of the story, the best part about this IS the story.  I will spare you the third person drama as I move forward, but for theatrical purposes, I needed to begin the story as Kevin and Cindy, because that’s all we are, “just Kevin” and “just Cindy”, from Lafayette, Indiana, Jefferson High School class of 1994.

In late April I was already making a trip to Lafayette with a friend, and Cindy rearranged her schedule to be there to go out with some old friends and some new friends.  Cindy agreed to meet me and my friends at The Neon Cactus, and let me tell you how nervous I was to see her.  I didn’t even know why I was so nervous.  In my experiences, there wasn’t much that rattled me, especially when it came to females.  I typically just shot from the hip and said what was on my mind, and for the most part, was myself.  However, this night, I was rocking back and forth in my chair, checking my watch, checking my phone, and generally acted like jo-jo the indian circus boy.   Cindy can tell this story better than I can, but she will say that she’ll never forget the look I had on my face when she walked into the rusty bucket saloon that night.  For description sake, I can’t tell you what my face looked like, but I can tell you that my heart was doing a triple flip layout with a half twist in the pike position.  I could barely contain the smile that appeared on my face.  I knew this girl.  This wasn’t some girl, this was Cindy Carter, from Lafayette.  I went to high school with this girl, and she’s deadly hot, smart, successful, and here to see me.  

Chapter one had been written prior to her walking in that night, and on sheer non-verbal communication alone, we both knew that many more chapters were to be penned after that night, but we never expected the story unfolding before our eyes.